Gentle Readers...this is a serious post for once.
I'm 25 years old. According to science, the human body begins to deteriorate at the age of 26, which means next year I will start to die, unless I get run over by a bus this year, in which case said dying will simply be sped up (mowed over...whatever). If that is the case, the old adage "die young, make a pretty corpse" won't even be applicable unless you think abstract art is pretty. Was it Picasso who painted the faces with the nose on the chin and the mouth where the eyes should be? I'll just leave it at I think I know where he drew his inspiration for those paintings and he strikes me as a morbid little man. I'm sure this is the sort of thing that is right up Kristy's alley. Maybe she can paint my face before they clean me off the street and then she'll be hailed as a new Picasso. We've all seen her Christmas plate before and know that she can do abstract well enough.
I realize as I write about death that my last post was about my funeral playlist. No, I'm not planning on buying the farm or kicking the bucket or augering in or pushing up daisies just yet, although I did kick the daisies on accident this afternoon when I tripped while stepping through the flowerbed. Does that count as a near death experience? I did see a bright light but it was only because as I was standing back up the sun was in my face.
Moving on (consider this life after talking about death), I have a job interview in the morning. That feels more like death after life. For a minute there I felt so alive. No, I really am excited at the prospect of working at this place. I think it could be lots of fun. Me in a coffee shop. Thats a little like letting a druggie work in a pharmacy but hey, what they don't know about me won't hurt me. Maybe I'll come out of the back room with a little ring of dust around my nose. NO, NOT HEROIN YOU NERDS. Coffee grounds. I'll be back there sniffing coffee grounds. Maybe I'll have a better chance of getting hired if I just don't talk at all.
School starts in about exactly FOUR WEEKS from today!! I've decided that after I get my ASN I'm gonna go on to my BSN. Ha ha I can already see your minds...not B-S'n...yes, I already have my master's in that area. I'm talking about my Bachelor of Science in Nursing So I Can Kill People Even Better On Accident (would that make it a BSNSICKPEBOA?) Regardless, I'm going to the next level even though I haven't even hit the first level yet. How can I not be excited about getting to stay in school for ANOTHER two years?? I've found a way to never have to grow up! After I get my BSNSICKPEBOA, I'll decide to get my masters, then I'll become a Doctor, then I'll become a medical specialist, then I'll become a medical researcher, then I'll decide to go to typists school and become a secretary and start climbing a whole different ladder. I can say that Northwestern University is looking pretty dang good and in order to prepare myself to apply there I need to sit down with a counsellor and plan out the next few semesters carefully so that I have a higher chance of meeting a rich man that can pay for me to go to Northwestern.
Gentle Readers, did you really think I was going to write a serious post?!?!
