Tax season is here.

Of course, for me,the tax season only lasts 24 hours and is still almost three months away, because I wait to do any of it till the last possible day each year. Today I received my tax info tuition statement (officially known as Form 109884328797864-T) from my college in the mail. I opened it 25 minutes ago. Three minutes ago, I spilled applesauce on it. Within the next nine minutes, I will have misplaced it and won't see it again till April 14th, when I will find it under my bed inside a Far Side comic book, marking some particularly funny panel that I wanted to show someone else but forgot to after I lost the book off my nightstand. Then, even though I will be in a rush to get my taxes done, I'll sit there on my floor going, "YES! I found my Form 109884328797864-T and now I can finish my-oh sweet I LOVED this panel!", and then I'll sit read the whole book and won't file till the 15th.
Speaking of the 15th reminds me of the 14th, which reminds me that upcoming day of love and romance, where millions of women get upset if their respective man failed to do something original, and where millions of men think that a box of candy (that says "made in china" on the bottom) from Wal-mart counts as something original. It's a nasty, nasty cycle. I spent last Valentine's night at a lovely restaurant, surrounded by balloons and flowers. Of course, I was the person carrying food to the tables and refilling drinks and by the end of the night I was ready to pop the balloons with a steak knife. And it wasn't really a lovely restaurant, it was Applebee's, and it was crowded, and the kitchen crashed, and I have no freaking clue what makes 573 billion couples think that by all going out for dinner on the same night, they will have a private, relaxing experience. Seriously..."Hey honey, let's have some time for just the two of us. Let's go to the standing-room-only lobby at a restaurant that doesn't take reservations and wait for 70-90 minutes for a table. It'll just be us and 340 other couples packed together". Yea, that screams romance. I won't even touch on how long it took for food to arrive, except to say that really, they could have raised and butchered out a steer in less time than it took to get a steak that night. Nights like that made me wonder why the heck I worked in a restaurant and definitely kept me motivated to stay in school.

Getting back to my taxes...I'm actually just waiting for one more thing to come in the mail before filing, which I really actually want to accomplish earlier than April 15th this year. My goal is to file by April 14th. I'm so tempted to do them by hand this year, simply for the reason that I could send my late-night-snack-food splotched forms to the IRS in Santa Fe and some government employee would have to pull a coffee stained, peanut butter crusted-together stack of papers out of the envelope and try to decipher my writing through the mess, then I'll call 3 days after I mail it and demand to know why I haven't received my return yet. And then it will be their turn to question their employment.