Changing My Major

A recent session of coloring mustaches on lawyers while reading the phonebook gave me the great idea of changing my major from nursing to bail bondsman. I've gotta check at the school and find out how long it takes to complete the bail bondsman degree program.
There are actually a lot of similarities between the two jobs. For example, in either case, people will be paying a lot of money for a service they don't HAVE to have but that they would regret not using(on one hand they might die, on the other, chances are they'll get to share their jail cell with a tattooed biker named Cupcake). I'll most likely get to know their families, will get to build a relationship with the client/patient during a stressful time in their life (stress on the one side will be because they got caught driving while plowed and the other would be the result of being caught by a plowed driver).
It was a hard decision to make but then I thought, "Hey, when was the last time I saw a nurse riding a motorcycle in the hospital hallways? Never. But Bail Bondsmen get to ride their motorcycles to the jail whenever they want to." Final similarity between the two professions: This is Farmington. Whichever I become, I'll always have a job.

Moving on...I was extremely happy to find that coloring beards and blackening teeth on people's pictures in the phonebook still cracks me up and I find it to be an extremely hilarious way to pass time (note to self: take phone book to DMV, on airplanes, and to funerals).
While perusing said phone book, I noticed that all lawyers try to wear the same determined expression, gazing determinedly past the camera to show you how determined they are to make lots of money off of you. Some achieve this bulldog-like stare, but most of them just look like constipated bulldogs.
Here's my final career idea for the night: Lawyer Photographer. The only problem would be that while developing the pictures I'd photoshop mustaches on to the women and klingon foreheads on to the men, then I'd get sued for defamation of character and fraud, and then I'd be the one trying to get away from Cupcake and in need of a bail bondsman. I could totally just hire myself.