Living With Old People

I live with old people. Three of them, to be precise. Before you start to tell me, I'll say it for you. I am very blessed to get to live here so I can go to school full time and not have to work a grown up job. I am very grateful. I know millions of people around the world would love to have the opportunities I have and be able to waste time writing blogs instead of doing their chemistry homework. BUT that doesn't erase the fact that I live with three old people whose actions give me endless ways to make fun of them.
For example....Fred keeps a padlock and logging chain on our chicken coop door because someone stole 6 hens last summer, but as I discovered tonight, Fred leaves the garage unlocked at night. The garage is well stocked by the tool departments of Home Depot and Checker Auto Supply. Apparently a half dozen feedstore hens whose main occupation in life consists of pecking each other's tail feathers off are more valuable than nail guns and circular saws.
I can just hear the theif who hits our place then heads to the pawn shop: "Man, you'll never believe the goods I got tonight. Take a look at this!" To which the pawn shop owner would reply "Oh man! Chickens with half eaten butts! Man I've been trying to get my hands on some of these for YEARS!" Then imagine said owner the next day when the local police sergeant makes his rounds.."So where'd you get these birds? What are chickens like these going for these days? You don't see chickens with butts like these very often." "Oh man, these were my Grandma's birds...I swear they were!"
My brother and I have discovered that free entertainment is never far away when interacting with the old people. For example, Mom* (In order to protect her privacy, I'll call her Debbie in this story) likes to draw maps so you don't get lost when you go somewhere far away, like Grocery Warehouse, or the bathroom. All we have to do is say "hhmm...main street...main street...no I'm not seeing it in my mind. Could you draw me a map?" This is guaranteed to be good for at least 30 minutes of drawing, talking with the hands, emphatic enunciations, and being informed of the locations of several landmarks along the way. "Ok, then you're going to take a left into the living room and you'll see THE FRONT DOOR. You want to walk through this..."

I am not making this up. Come to my house and see for yourself. We'll draw you a map - you can't miss it. It's the place with the blinking neon sign on top of the garage that reads "FREE STUFF!"