Well, as some of you may know, my Grandma (for whom I am named) recently had to spend a few days in the hospital. Apparently she had a pleural effusion (latin for "many fuses") in her thoracic cavity (greek for "cave that the god of thunder lives in"). By the way, my medical terminology class really paid off this summer.
Anyway, after we had been in the examination room for approximately 357 hours, the nurse came in to tell us that the cardiologist would be with us soon. By "soon", she meant "at least probably before the rapture happens." During the subsequent wait, I wondered if it would be faster to take her to the DMV for treatment. I did come to understand why there are no windows in the ER. It's not so people on the outside can't see in...it's so the people inside waiting can't see out. The staff doesn't want you to see the leaves change color, then the first snowfall, then the budding out of trees as you wait to be resucitated from your heart attack. It's like a black hole where time ceases to exist for the occupants. Seriously, a lady was sitting there reading an issue of Time magazine that was hot off the press when she arrived. Reagan and Gorbechav were on the cover as "Men of the Year".
Finally, Mr Cardiologist arrived (i.e. someone apparently died and made him queen), fully self-aware of his own greatness, holding his Clipboard Of Power and Majesty. I know...I know... before anyone tells me, I know that doctors worked for years blah blah blah expensive education blah blah long residency blah blah save lives blah blah etc. And someday, said doctors will be my bosses. If this particular doctor is one of them and I have to work with him, I'll wear a specially embroidered scrub top that says on the back "I'm with stupid." Another might say "Don't blame him...his mama smoked weed while she was pregnant." Then I'll get fired and will launch an business selling similar scrub tops online to other disgruntled nurses.
I just don't get why some MD's become so convinced of their own awesomeness and then treat everyone around them like the parasites in the vomit of the maggot on the...nevermind. Is that what they learn in Med School? Furthermore, didn't their mamas teach them any better? I'm gonna need to come to terms with this sometime in the next year before I start doing clinicals at the hospital or there are gonna be some physicians walking around unaware of the long streamers of TP taped to their shoes, and all the while they'll be thinking how important they look holding their Clipboards of Power and Majesty and wearing their Stethoscopes of Glory and Might. You can guess who my first target is. All I can say is, he started it.
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